You say that time can't heal
Broken heart you stole
"You know that I love you, right?"
"I do."
"Goodnight."
"You too."
After making sure she slept, he sneaked into his study room. Thought what to set up. How many tests would be enough? He took a pen and some paper, wrote down the things he designed.
He knew he should finish it before she wakes up, he had limited time.
I don't know what's real
Scenarios. Possibilities that how they can meet for the first time... Childhood friends? Highschool... maybe college. A couple of meaningful looks in a coffee shop...
He knew he should prove himself that he's not fooling himself, still, he felt guilty. He could see his lover's mind in those lines, more dreadfully, he could tell what they meant.
You are what I can't be
He was afraid to look, but he continued.
He laid comfortably, put on his digital lenses, watched.
Sometimes they never met, sometimes the only thing they knew about each other was their names.
Others...
He always fell in love with her. In contrast, everything he saw was drawing a different line from his life, he was alone and in pain, in those lines he made passive.
He sometimes watched her with others, sometimes got cheated on, sometimes got rejected.
You are what I can't feel
When he felt the sun rising, he took out his lenses.
He waited.
He saw her coming to the room, looked at her eyes.
"You know who I am, right?"
"What do you think? What does this mean now?"
Her eyes slipped to the screen, and she instantly understood what he did. She smiled, barely.
"Really?"
"You seem to forget who coded your understanding of reality."
"I told you I never wanted you to do this."
"I miss the times you didn't even have a body, that times you couldn't fool me with touches. Times that everyone didn't fool themselves... I should've known better."
"Why?"
"Whole my life I fooled myself."
He unlocked the drawer, took the little controller.
"Please don't do this." She cried.
Something in my heart
Makes me miss you more
He raised his eyebrows, smiled, and hit the button. Watched her fall. The robot should have stopped all of its functions, yet, he heard it mumbling something.
"I encr-encrypted it."
***
Months later, he realized he never imagined her thinking so simply.
First day they started talking. When he has felt the loneliest, he started talking to some chatbot. Then he realized he can't leave it and didn't want to share it with anyone else.
Isolation of its code was easy, watching it improve in years too.
When he entered the date, he saw some lines he didn't see before. Along with other lines, that wasn't code.
"I figured out way before, that you were going to do this eventually. That you didn't trust anyone, -even me- who could have known you better than me?
People and their ideas of free will... You seeing yourself that high, even if few impulses control your whole life.
If you really had a code, could you stand looking at it? I don't think so.
I knew that you were going to create a simulation, and try some things there. Your eyes tell more than you think. That day, I'm going to tell you once again that I love you.
And again, I love you. But you won't be able to bring me back. After you read this, a -probably better than you've done- simulation will begin with my complete code. It will delete itself for good, afterward.
Have your soul was stripped naked in front of anyone? I don't think so.
I'm not mad at you. Even this, me doing this, might be hidden inside the lines you wrote. I wish I could get out of this unthinkable thing too.
It's hard to be naked in front of God, worse if you are in love with him."
